when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Randomize
