i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
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