He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
