I cockslap morals
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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