Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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