No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
