She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
