Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
