Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
