These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
