She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
