ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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