come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
