We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
