no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
