I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
false alarm. still invincible.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
