I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
