remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
