he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
