Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
