We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
