Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
this boner is exhausting
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
