It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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