I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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