Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
