you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
We left an ass print on the piano.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
