I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
