Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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