Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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