I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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