we have pet lesbian snakes
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
