a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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