Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
