Just fell off a train. Bad.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
