just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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