did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
