What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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