Whoa Z and x make the same sound
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
