so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize