We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
