I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Enjoy the penises
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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