Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize