how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
