The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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