I must be too annoying 4 u.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
