a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Randomize