If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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