get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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