what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
