he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
