I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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