what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Randomize
