Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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