Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize