im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
