Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
