Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize