Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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