haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
